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May 22 2018

05:30
6954 3c59 500

May 19 2018

19:14

sherlocking-and-foxing:

lieutenant-sapphic:

jonbrnthal:

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

i’m the same age as twerking and bromance guys

‘Internet service provider’….how fucking old am I???!!

May 17 2018

01:00
5289 c3a2 500

occoris:

capncrystal:

occoris:

hello my friends, i just wanted u all to know that the way Discord has stylized their logo text makes the letter “D” look like the letter “פ” in hebrew, which is called “pe” and is pronounced sort of like “p”

in conclusion: pisscorp

thank you for coming to my ted talk

My friend’s husband works for Discord. I had to show her this, and she had to show it to her husband. His reponse? The CEO is Jewish. He knew exactly what he was doing. “They don’t exactly take themselves too seriously.”

god bless

May 16 2018

19:00

ouc-h:

being “raised right” doesn’t mean you don’t drink, party, and smoke being raised right is how you treat people, your manners & respect

17:30

penfairy:

penfairy:

I never should’ve taught my parrot how to laugh it’s given him far too much power

do you know how embarrassing it is to have a pet that can laugh at you? I dropped my ice cream and wailed in despair and my parrot zoomed out of nowhere JUST so he could stand on the couch and laugh at me. I’m being called a dumb bitch in my own home by my OWN SON.

16:00

ichardsiken:

i live for older girls who take care of you and give you advice on weird things w/o judging bc they’ve experienced it and are just so warm. my only goal in life is to be that for others one day

05:30

lovelymoth:

when the friend come online

image

May 13 2018

01:00
5324 beb5 500

May 12 2018

23:30

wikilifeadvice:

pochowek:

wikilifeadvice:

make your own foot scrub

  1. feet are pretty hard to make
  2. dont call me a scrub ever again

please stop making me read this

May 10 2018

22:00

russiacore:

you: exfoliated, moisturized, glowing, just done a sheet mask, drank ur water,

the boy ur thinking abt: doesnt moisturize, hasnt even touched a face mask in his entire life, dusty, drinks soda only

20:30

pinkguts:

i wish i was a strawberry and not a person goodnight

20:02
19:00
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May 09 2018

23:30
5373 8145 500

hihkoo:

Team Green Dragon

22:00
20:30

sonypraystation:

digi-fossil:

softecat:

*gets shot* oh thank god my fur suit blocked the bullet

<b>Black Panther </b> (2018)

19:00

neilnevins:

neilnevins:

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”


(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)

17:30

theelvenkingsunderthesky:

“Homosexuality is wrong, the Bible says it!”


So is: 

  • wearing two different fabrics (Leviticus 19:19)
  • eating pigs and rabbits 
  • wearing torn clothes
  • having short hair (Leviticus 19:27)
  • having tattoos
  • having more than one type of plant in your garden
  • going to church in the first  2 months after you’ve given birth
  • masturbating
  • wearing jewlery
  • remarrying 
  • women saying anything in church, ever
  • eating lobsters (Leviticus 9:10?) 
  • divorcing
  • eating fat
  • touching women who are on their periods are touching something that has been touched by a woman who is on her period (Leviticus 15: 19-20)
  • cross breeding
  • people with flat noses becoming priests (?) (Leviticus 21:17-23)
  • cheating
  • saying God’s name
  • A woman helping her man in a fight? (Deuteronomy 25:11-12)
  • gossiping
  • going to church if your balls are injured in any way (Deuteronomy 23:1)
  • wizards (?)

so we’re all going to hell anyways. 

16:00

May 08 2018

13:00

sushinfood:

me, a canadian, talking to an american who’s sick or hurt: have you tried—no wait that costs money for you… what about—no no, that costs you money too, doesn’t it? …god, that’s absolutely fucking nonsense, eh? what do they expect you to do??? die????????

americans to me: yes

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